wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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