You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
