he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
