Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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