yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
