if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
