Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
pray to the hookup gods
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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