you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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