Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
