she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
