I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
