he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
