So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
