Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We're too hungover to prance.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
