come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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