words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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