So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
