I got chris browned last night
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
