You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
