I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
