No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
