your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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