sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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