just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
