God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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