yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
