What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
