What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
