forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
