I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
