that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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