There was a lot of him and a little penis
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
