I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
