what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
