A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She bit a glass in half.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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