We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
