what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
