u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
