If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
