Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The uberlube is also flammable
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
