So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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