There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
