Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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