part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
