I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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