so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
