dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
