If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
