just come out here and I will go home with you...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
