xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my shit smells like andre
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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